Most useful social skills That Will Make You Successful In Every Aspect Of Life
PostedAt: Mon, Jun 28, 2021 8:24 AM
There is a life time’s worth of ideas around social skills - and I’ve made a living over the years from giving people some guidance on this - so condensing them into a few is rather a tall order. One of the first social skills I teach is apparently pretty rudimentary, blatantly obvious and so often ignored in real life. (If you think that’s a paradox, I can only say it might be, but it’s a real experience.)
So if I had to choose that one social skill, I think it makes a really good starting point, opening up further avenues of thought in most people. (My idea was always to help people become self-sustaining in their efforts to become more socially adept.)
When you are in a group or a conversation of any kind, there is a real danger that you won’t be listening, usually for good reason, that it is boring, sometimes for bad reasons, for example that something else is on your mind. Whatever is going on in your life, as you come back into the conversation, it is so easy not to be actually listening to what the current speaker is saying, but formulating your own response or contribution. This is an absolute killer in terms of your social capabilities.
So my starting point is always to say to someone that when they are in a conversation absolutely forget what you might want to say or feel you ought to say, and concentrate solely on what the person speaking is saying. I said it was obvious, but if you are at all aware of what is going on in the dynamics of a conversation you will see people who are focusing on themselves and their response and not actually listening in any way that is polite. I’m not sure it is obvious necessarily to the other people as that - but everyone in the group will almost subliminally at least be aware that you are not being considerate and polite.
This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with what is being said - I’ve had that question - nor that what someone is saying has to make sense, but ensuring that you are evaluating what they are saying will actually transform your presence in the conversation or group.
most useful social skills
The academics taught you how to learn from a book; other experts or experiences to achieve success. Do you remember any professor telling you how to cope with a conflict, deal with your emotions, or “feel for others”. No? Thought so!
Here’s a real secret to success that you may or may not already know: It’s not all about what you know when it comes to being a credible and reputable expert in your field. There are many secrets to success that go beyond the typical goal-achieving attribute.
Social skills are one of the most important contributing factors to success. This isn’t something you want to gain just to improve your personal relationships. Social skills contribute to a variety of other aspects of life including your health, profession, spirituality, education, and more.
1. If you want to chase a boy/girl and create opportunities to ask him/her for help, people will be more impressed by helping others than by being helped. It is called the Franklin effect in psychology.
2. People who are entangled in trivial matters, such as ordering milk tea can entangle for a long time, and generally entangled in major events, entanglement will cause internal friction, and the whole person will look more mournful.
3. If a friend with a normal relationship borrows money from you, don't borrow money. This means that you have borrowed money from a good relationship with him.
4. When the meeting is cold, the first person to break the silence is either high in status or independent.
5. When communicating with the other party, look at the other party's eyes instead of looking down. This will make people think you are not confident and ignore you.
6. Be polite to people, but don't be too polite.
7. If you know that the opinions you want to express will be opposed by many people, learn to relay or quote other people's words. This will help you distract you from your fire.
8. Don’t chase the girls who play well with boys. These girls are not really good. The ones who play with girls are better. And these girls often can’t distinguish the boundaries. Even if they get it, they will be enough in the future. You drink a pot.
9. Don't persuade others to be kind to others without suffering.
10. When you meet for the first time, smile and try to distinguish the eye color of the other person. This will make the other person impress you.
11. In the workplace, when someone loses their temper at you, the best counterattack is to stay calm and look into the other person's eyes. This will make the other person even more angry, and will feel ashamed when the other person's anger subsides.
12. Boldly speak out your needs. When the work intensity exceeds your capacity, the work is too busy, and the tasks assigned by the leadership are not understood, speak boldly and timely. Don't wait until things can't be saved. Think you are extremely unreliable.
13. For newcomers in the workplace, no matter how introverted they are, they must be extroverted. Otherwise, people will not think you are cold, but will think you are out of the group. When your wings are hardened, others will think that your introvert is calm, cold, and kind. Aura.
14. By looking at a conversation, you can tell whether this person has the habit of reading. The person who reads has a clear logic and has ideas. If you become friends with such a person, you will have our teacher, but the premise is that they are willing to be friends with you.
15. If you are in charge of one thing, such as being in charge of a dinner for colleagues, don't give other people a choice, just tell them when and where to go to which restaurant. If you give everyone a choice, it will inevitably only meet the needs of some people, while the needs of some people cannot be met. This will create a gap, and in the end, you will complain.
16. Contrary to the previous one, if you ask someone to do something, if you ask him directly, he may refuse, but if you give him two choices, he will usually choose one. For example, if you want to open a window in the house, but no one else is willing, then you should say: "I want to breathe, let's open a window or knock down the ceiling." At this time, everyone will generally agree that you open a window (Mr. Lu Xun's example).
17. When shaking hands with someone, if your hand is hot, the other person will have a good impression of you, so if you are so nervous that your hands are cold and sweaty, wipe your hands dry and warm them before shaking hands.
18. In a multi-person situation, if you mention someone, don't use pronouns like you, him, or them, just say the name. This will make the other person feel respected.
19. When you talk to the other party, and the other party doesn't say half of the words, and you want him to finish speaking, then you should keep silent, smile and nod to encourage him, as long as you don't break the silence, he will finish speaking.